Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
