i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
