Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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