I'm drive I can fine osifer
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
