Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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