i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny