sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
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Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
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So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.