did you get engaged???
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
