Texts From Last Night

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  (347): View more from New York

  you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.

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  (347): you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair. http://tfl.nu/pf7y
  Replies (100) Good night (1123) Bad night (4057)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke

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  (515): sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke http://tfl.nu/6ss8
  Replies (16) Good night (3121) Bad night (945)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  there needs to be a build-a-bong store...

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  (267): there needs to be a build-a-bong store... http://tfl.nu/zpe9
  Replies (53) Good night (9160) Bad night (966)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Jealous.

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  (417): Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls. (573): Jealous. http://tfl.nu/6b8u
  Replies (9) Good night (3776) Bad night (1706)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"

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  (970): But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed" http://tfl.nu/2s0k
  Replies (6) Good night (1095) Bad night (2653)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.

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  (512): Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time. http://tfl.nu/xdkp
  Replies (7) Good night (2598) Bad night (1253)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.

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  (814): Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright. http://tfl.nu/kb3m
  Replies (11) Good night (2401) Bad night (686)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!

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  (678): Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?! http://tfl.nu/sa9o
  Replies (10) Good night (2100) Bad night (632)
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  (731): View more from Tennessee

  all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were

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  (731): all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were http://tfl.nu/iffh
  Replies (12) Good night (2590) Bad night (702)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.

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  (248): Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds. http://tfl.nu/tb7m
  Replies (1) Good night (916) Bad night (520)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.

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  (406): I have better things to do with my life than be faithful. http://tfl.nu/xz80
  Replies (8) Good night (559) Bad night (1245)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.

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  (816): I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night. http://tfl.nu/an2g
  Replies (5) Good night (1078) Bad night (326)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!

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  (207): But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on! http://tfl.nu/iftt
  Replies (11) Good night (367) Bad night (862)
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  (786): View more from Florida

  I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.

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  (786): I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun. http://tfl.nu/ptqr
  Replies (0) Good night (377) Bad night (222)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY

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  (717): WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY http://tfl.nu/nywf
  Replies (2) Good night (530) Bad night (243)

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