Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(619): View more from California

Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.

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(619): Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage. http://tfl.nu/jxfh

Replies (13) Good night (1145) Bad night (875)
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(646): View more from New York

I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.

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(646): I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister. http://tfl.nu/fqyo

Replies (26) Good night (9266) Bad night (1437)
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(404): View more from Georgia

i may or may not be watching the land before time

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(404): i may or may not be watching the land before time http://tfl.nu/fmo5

Replies (40) Good night (7417) Bad night (1010)
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(905): View more from Toronto

me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.

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(905): me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies. http://tfl.nu/dozm

Replies (10) Good night (5298) Bad night (822)
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(740): View more from Ohio

Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.

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(740): Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life. http://tfl.nu/k782

Replies (34) Good night (5612) Bad night (834)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.

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(610): it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again. http://tfl.nu/0grs

Replies (30) Good night (6536) Bad night (1205)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!

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(610): I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin! http://tfl.nu/gtgt

Replies (14) Good night (9426) Bad night (1821)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.

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(201): Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday. http://tfl.nu/gpxr

Replies (5) Good night (3117) Bad night (1031)
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(575): View more from New Mexico

I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"

(575): View more from New Mexico

Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.

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(575): I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here" (575): Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life. http://tfl.nu/q6db

Replies (9) Good night (2364) Bad night (888)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.

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(201): This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw. http://tfl.nu/lq9h

Replies (7) Good night (816) Bad night (1134)
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(506): View more from New Brunswick

i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea

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(506): i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea http://tfl.nu/yqel

Replies (2) Good night (673) Bad night (372)
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(217): View more from Illinois

what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"

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(217): what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?" http://tfl.nu/sbqo

Replies (9) Good night (791) Bad night (1190)
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(425): View more from Washington

There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.

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(425): There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above. http://tfl.nu/ffte

Replies (2) Good night (1023) Bad night (348)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.

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(610): All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship. http://tfl.nu/y1t2

Replies (2) Good night (602) Bad night (339)
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(530): View more from California

It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.

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(530): It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite. http://tfl.nu/ndu2

Replies (10) Good night (383) Bad night (1088)

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