actually, I'm a sock model
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
