i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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