I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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