Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
