Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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