I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
