My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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