Sponge bath it is.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
