I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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