I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
