Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize