I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
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Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
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my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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