I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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