Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
