yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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