I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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