Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
