Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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