Texts From Last Night

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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month

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  (215): i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month http://tfl.nu/ruzp
  Replies (4) Good night (1880) Bad night (505) Order T-Shirt
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  (386): View more from Florida

  tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN

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  (386): tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN http://tfl.nu/xbeq
  Replies (26) Good night (476) Bad night (2968)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung

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  (413): i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung http://tfl.nu/rtj3
  Replies (47) Good night (13351) Bad night (984) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions

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  (330): You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions http://tfl.nu/rnwr
  Replies (7) Good night (3420) Bad night (1062) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.

  (1-707): View more from California

  you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you

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  (707): yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her. (1-707): you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you http://tfl.nu/2wdi
  Replies (15) Good night (698) Bad night (5021)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila

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  (508): Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila http://tfl.nu/42fz
  Replies (24) Good night (1307) Bad night (3754) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.

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  (608): Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week. http://tfl.nu/ckos
  Replies (8) Good night (3312) Bad night (911)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..

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  (204): The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off.. http://tfl.nu/csfy
  Replies (5) Good night (3512) Bad night (1319) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.

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  (630): He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding. http://tfl.nu/mxqh
  Replies (1) Good night (1157) Bad night (2419) Order T-Shirt
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".

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  (319): the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy". http://tfl.nu/gh3y
  Replies (9) Good night (4175) Bad night (1325)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything

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  (706): I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything http://tfl.nu/u65o
  Replies (11) Good night (1264) Bad night (592) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.

  (972): View more from Texas

  Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.

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  (817): Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift. (972): Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking. http://tfl.nu/jm0q
  Replies (23) Good night (2508) Bad night (542)
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  (559): View more from California

  He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year

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  (559): He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year http://tfl.nu/93v6
  Replies (8) Good night (1156) Bad night (601) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level

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  (603): i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level http://tfl.nu/sciw
  Replies (4) Good night (321) Bad night (1001) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards

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  (630): And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards http://tfl.nu/vn30
  Replies (2) Good night (1163) Bad night (267) Order T-Shirt

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