I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
