You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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