better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
