It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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