Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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