You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
