She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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