Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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