If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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