so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
