also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
