I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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