Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
