do herpes really smell.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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