You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
