I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
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High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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