Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
