God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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