No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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