it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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