Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
