he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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