Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Randomize
