Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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