me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
