is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
