Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
