I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
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