Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work