I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
It's blow job season.
17 People Reveal The Reasons Behind Their Foot Fetish
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
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