were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
