tell your sister to shave her snatch
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
