After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
