haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
