Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
