I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
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Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store