Texts From Last Night

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  (330): View more from Ohio

  i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.

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  (330): i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow. http://tfl.nu/ez44
  Replies (11) Good night (3479) Bad night (738)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.

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  (267): No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay. http://tfl.nu/ge7h
  Replies (9) Good night (1132) Bad night (4293)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?

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  (504): How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need? http://tfl.nu/pqn5
  Replies (27) Good night (7293) Bad night (1185)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.

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  (702): And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now. http://tfl.nu/so7u
  Replies (7) Good night (933) Bad night (3437)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.

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  (618): This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape. http://tfl.nu/eyxg
  Replies (14) Good night (1757) Bad night (4758)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number

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  (412): He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number http://tfl.nu/oocs
  Replies (6) Good night (3043) Bad night (1062)
• Favorite

  (575): View more from New Mexico

  Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?

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  (575): Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night? http://tfl.nu/drd1
  Replies (9) Good night (3408) Bad night (786)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.

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  (403): Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit. http://tfl.nu/379t
  Replies (10) Good night (2971) Bad night (636)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him

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  (254): He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him http://tfl.nu/fs9i
  Replies (9) Good night (1319) Bad night (815)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?

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  (503): Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right? http://tfl.nu/3qlx
  Replies (13) Good night (1362) Bad night (533)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.

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  (716): I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects. http://tfl.nu/fv1m
  Replies (1) Good night (1435) Bad night (383)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.

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  (619): Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way. http://tfl.nu/mas5
  Replies (0) Good night (529) Bad night (344)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.

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  (405): Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay. http://tfl.nu/oj1t
  Replies (3) Good night (856) Bad night (366)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."

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  (571): I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar." http://tfl.nu/n1ur
  Replies (4) Good night (516) Bad night (263)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.

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  (614): A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away. http://tfl.nu/tggc
  Replies (5) Good night (264) Bad night (455)

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