Texts From Last Night

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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.

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  (616): I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does. http://tfl.nu/4jqf
  Replies (4) Good night (1181) Bad night (516)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.

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  (281): so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better. http://tfl.nu/ybcl
  Replies (8) Good night (4050) Bad night (1295)
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  (661): View more from California

  I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...

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  (661): I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore... http://tfl.nu/z5qk
  Replies (11) Good night (3615) Bad night (817)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.

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  (913): It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there. http://tfl.nu/6dln
  Replies (2) Good night (1916) Bad night (695)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you

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  (215): i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you http://tfl.nu/4yxe
  Replies (35) Good night (9321) Bad night (1818)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...

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  (479): The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl... http://tfl.nu/uc2c
  Replies (6) Good night (1936) Bad night (995)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.

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  (443): My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love. http://tfl.nu/12sb
  Replies (8) Good night (3591) Bad night (601)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.

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  (307): I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real. http://tfl.nu/ype2
  Replies (3) Good night (595) Bad night (1152)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.

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  (914): Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs. http://tfl.nu/123h
  Replies (12) Good night (1113) Bad night (553)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  That is a hangover

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I would prefer a headache

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  (215): Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame (267): That is a hangover (215): I would prefer a headache http://tfl.nu/ewcu
  Replies (3) Good night (1239) Bad night (531)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.

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  (414): Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success. http://tfl.nu/e521
  Replies (3) Good night (1023) Bad night (486)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?

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  (303): WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING? http://tfl.nu/q4gt
  Replies (8) Good night (457) Bad night (903)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.

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  (717): You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you. http://tfl.nu/xdv6
  Replies (2) Good night (522) Bad night (275)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.

  (1-727): View more from Florida

  Please never have kids.

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  (727): I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour. (1-727): Please never have kids. http://tfl.nu/il5z
  Replies (4) Good night (642) Bad night (221)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.

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  (423): His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't. http://tfl.nu/52tt
  Replies (3) Good night (285) Bad night (518)

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