Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  what if I'm pregnant?

  (848): View more from New Jersey

  smusmorshion

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): what if I'm pregnant? (848): smusmorshion http://tfl.nu/vksj
  Replies (103) Good night (1931) Bad night (2937)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight. http://tfl.nu/0aby
  Replies (18) Good night (3817) Bad night (812)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar. (303): Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick. http://tfl.nu/w6wy
  Replies (111) Good night (38964) Bad night (3277)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (302): I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers. http://tfl.nu/ujt7
  Replies (13) Good night (601) Bad night (3278)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom. http://tfl.nu/mpyr
  Replies (21) Good night (985) Bad night (4007)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex. http://tfl.nu/ik0l
  Replies (15) Good night (5596) Bad night (1041)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that. http://tfl.nu/ifkh
  Replies (20) Good night (1558) Bad night (4705)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that. http://tfl.nu/a94h
  Replies (16) Good night (1659) Bad night (3944)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special http://tfl.nu/6w5y
  Replies (5) Good night (1586) Bad night (491)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen http://tfl.nu/up6u
  Replies (3) Good night (831) Bad night (1342)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.

  (1-614): View more from Ohio

  I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it. (1-614): I can bring a slip n slide and curtains. http://tfl.nu/1p4g
  Replies (5) Good night (805) Bad night (596)
• Favorite

  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (787): I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities http://tfl.nu/2egx
  Replies (3) Good night (598) Bad night (202)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat. http://tfl.nu/bfhd
  Replies (6) Good night (664) Bad night (278)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know. http://tfl.nu/cmhk
  Replies (2) Good night (552) Bad night (221)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame. http://tfl.nu/omwv
  Replies (2) Good night (577) Bad night (173)

Randomize