worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.