who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
if i can run in heels then i can drive
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Canadian or clown?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me