What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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