At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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